The Hand of God

I don't often attribute things directly to the Lord. Maybe I should, but I try to use caution when thinking something is from Him. Today I'm sure He has this entire situation under His control & is using it amazingly.

I'd never really blogged in detail about our issues with BabyGirl before this week. They've been very difficult to deal with, very hard to come to terms with, and harder to admit to. I've truly felt we were somehow failing her as parents. I really believed this to be a disciplinary issue...the tantrums, the refusals, the fighting. Last week I reached my breaking point. I no longer knew what to do. I couldn't cope. Everything seemed out of hand. It was truly the low point of my career as a mother.

I spent Saturday & Sunday trying to find a plan of action. I knew something had to be done, but had no idea where to start. I wanted to get counseling, but I'm leary of many secular counselors. Our rural community doesn't offer much in the way of options. So I prayed. Quite a bit. I told the Lord I couldn't handle this any more & I was truly scared for BabyGirl. I knew something was wrong & beyond my ability to help her.

Earlier this week I blogged about escaping to Busha's. I said more about our struggles in that post than I ever have before. Samantha stumbled upon my post the next day. To quote her directly, "...my daughter was taking an usually late and long nap and I was procrastinating from the household chores. I had come across your blog a few times before, but I was really just trying to kill time before my pumpkin awoke. Funny how things work out, huh?" She's the one who suggested BabyGirl might have a sensory issue. QM called me to tell me about Samantha's comment & thus began our journey down this road.

Since that post I've had more than one person comment that this might be an actual disorder and not just our imagination. Zann put me in touch with her sister who's two girls have struggled with similar problems. She emailed me yesterday & I can say reading about her youngest is like reading about our BabyGirl. Nan emailed me to say her daughter-in-law wondered if we weren't looking at SPD. She's an Occupational Therapist & has a good deal of experience treating kids like BabyGirl.

If it hadn't been for the influx of information, I'm not sure I could have handled what happend Thursday afternoon. I was exhausted from a night up with a teething Bitsy, a trip to town, bathing the boys who had just come in from playing in the 1/2 inch of snow on the ground, putting away the groceries, trying to cook lunch, and dealing with a squalling Bitsy all at the same time. The phone rang. When I answered, BabyGirl's pricipal apologized for calling & explained they had concerns about BabyGirl's behavior. Her teacher (and one other) had noticed her putting her hands in her clothing frequently. Her teacher (Mrs.G) thought she was "touching herself" and was required by law to report the behavior to the principal. Her teacher goes to church with Busha & Bucka so she knows our family outside of the school setting to an extent. Mrs.G was so upset about having to report it, and Mr.C (the principal) was equally upset about having to call me.

I told him what we had just learned about SPD and that we were investigating the chance that BabyGirl has it. He was so very understanding. His first words were, "That makes perfect sense!" Mr.C said to be sure to keep them informed and if there was anything the school could do to help, don't hesitate to ask. I thank the Lord Mr.C's not one for jumping to conclusions.

I went in the kitchen & cried...a lot. What would we have done or said had he called a week earlier? Would we be dealing with Social Services instead of offering a simple explanation to a very rational principal?

I went in to talk to Mrs.G that afternoon after school let out. She was so very relieved to have me there. She told me she'd been struggling with her decision all week & had been a wreck ever since she had to talk to Mr.C about it. I explained what little we knew at the time about SPD and gave her a list of web sites I'd found that have been very helpful. She said she would pass them on to Mr.C as well so they will all be in the know. Mrs.G also said she thinks an Occupational Therapist would come to the school to work with BabyGirl.

There is no doubt in my mind that God had His hand in the timing of all this. Not to mention the doors that have opened through my blogging. If not for the blogging community I've been a part of for the past two years, we'd still be fighting a loosing battle. He is good & I am thankful.