Laxing off a bit

Samantha asked (so very long ago) if I was sticking to BabyGirl's sensory diet of if we were relaxing with it.

To be honest, I've slacked off quite a bit in my enforcement of it. BabyGirl does many of the stuff on her own because she enjoys it, but I don't push her quiet like I did in the beginning.

I think the sensory diet was a life saver for us. I cannot imagine still dealing with the daily battles we had back in January. Since starting the sensory diet BabyGirl's clothing issues have decreased drastically. She will wear a greater variety of clothing now than she has since the beginning of Kindergarten. Where we were limited to 2 pairs of pants & 2 shirt for a while, she now wears at least 4 pairs of pants, most of her shirts, and with the weather warming up she's back in her dresses & skirts.

Since we tried the blindfold experiment, she's picked out a new kind of favorite panties. She still limits herself to one particular brand & style, but I think most people do that. I'm OK with that since I can get more of them. It was the single pair of underpants I had a major issue with. In fact, Friday I bought her another pack of the kind she now prefers so she has 6 pairs to choose from. That seems like such a luxury to me! (Granted there are probably 15 pairs in her drawer she doesn't want to wear, but at least 10 of them are old enough to need to be replaced anyway.)

I think the weighted blanket has helped her the most. Since she started sleeping with it she's been calmer & much more tolerant of texture. We rarely brush anymore & the joint compression is an occasional thing (once a day, maybe).

Now our biggest issue is the learned behaviors SPD has caused. For a long time sheets itched so she would throw a fit at bed time. Now the sheets don't bother her, but she still doesn't go to bed easily.

I'm trying to learn what battles are worth fighting. There's a fine line with her between a sensory problem & a behavioral problem. What can start off as behavioral can quickly become sensory. If she refuses to go to bed & an argument ensues, that can quickly escalate into "itching" and a melt-down over bedding. So picking my battles is far from easy.

I'm glad summer is coming because simply being outdoors is a great feast for her senses. The more she does on her own (swinging, sliding, bike riding, running, playing, bouncing), the less I have to remind her to do. I think that may also explain why summertime was always easier for her. In the winter she becomes too sedentary & that contributes to her issues.

So, for the moment, most of her Sensory Diet is in her hands, but I know it's worked for us!

FarmWife's World

I just posted this in my Adult SPD share group. I know I've touched on this before, but I really wanted to lay more of it out today. Call it a need to put it all on the table. I feel the need to share.

As long as I can remember I've felt slightly disjointed. I've never really been able to explain it.

When I was 3 QM put me in ballet. I loved it & had no problem with the dance steps especially with all the repetition we did. But when it came time to do cartwheels on the mat, I was lost. I couldn't figure out how to make my feet go up in the air without killing myself. It terrified me. I think I was 8 years old before I got it.

I was 10 before I learned to ride a bike without training wheels. All the other kids on my street had their training wheels off by the time they were 6. And even when I learned, I was never particularly good at it.

I was never good at sports. Dodge ball petrified me, Basketball was too confusing, Volleyball was an exercise in terror. I wasn't coordinated enough to play anything that took hand-eye coordination. In fact, I have a horrible time remembering which is my left side & which is my right. But I loved to swim & picked that up very quickly.

In high school I joined the color guard (flag corps) in the marching band. I was fairly decent at it, but it took a lot of practice & things had to be broken down for me step-by-step.

I've always been clumsy & unorganized. I bump into things, drop things, loose things, forget things, & stumble easily. I really have no idea where my body is in respect to the stuff around me. I have horrible posture & constantly stand with my knees locked.

I get overwhelmed easily too. If the house is a big mess I can get almost panicked (but I spent the first 20 years of my life as a total slob). I truly want it all neat & organized, but end up giving up quickly because I'm overwhelmed by the chaos. Occasionally I start purging the house & have to stop myself before I throw it all away. I teeter between wanting a severely minimalist life & packing away every piece of paper my kids have doodled on for later.

Just the task of grocery shopping can be hard. I may go to the store to stock the pantry & freezer and come home with 4 boxes of Pop-tarts, a pint of ice cream, and salad dressing instead. If I don't prepare myself for a trip to the store I'll wander aimlessly looking at everything & never remember what I'm there after. I'll buy a shirt, earrings, and hair dye when I'm supposed to pick up tissues.

I love the mall, but if I'm there for a purpose I can never accomplish it. I end up wandering around in a half daze, completely indecisive.

Until recently I thought everyone was secretly like me. I assumed everyone felt shy & introverted unless around people who know them very well (and even then sometimes). I never understood what people meant when they said they were comfortable in their own skin. I've never felt that way.

I thought I was just odd because I couldn't stand to be touched lightly. If someone shakes my hand limply, I want to come out of my skin. If one of my kids brushes my arm gently, I jump. I am so ticklish if my feet are touched lightly I will kick.

Husband (who is very athletic & not even a little ticklish) thinks I'm overly dramatic. A few weeks ago one of the boys touched the bottom of my foot while I was resting & I nearly kicked him. Husband said, "You can control that if you want to." I've tried to explain that I cannot. I'd never kick the kids if I could prevent it! He really doesn't understand.

When our oldest daughter was diagnosed as having SPD (tactile defensiveness), I started reading The Out-Of-Sync Child & saw myself all over the pages. I don't have the same fight or flight issues BabyGirl does, so at first I thought it was just slight similarities. But the more I look into this, the more I'm convinced I also have SPD if even in a more mild form.

It's nice to have something to contribute all this too, but I'm still not sure what to do about it. I'm trying BabyGirl's Sensory Diet, but I'm worried that it's too late as my neurological system is already fully formed.

I guess I should add that while typing this, I rolled too far back on the exercise ball I'm sitting on, fell in the floor, & pulled the keyboard tray out onto my leg. I feel a bit like Charlie Brown....Good Grief.

Look out, Victoria. BabyGirl has a secret of her own.

Thank the Lord, Spring is here. I was beginning to think we'd be trapped in the house until the kids graduate from college. And now that BabyGirl will willingly go outside to play, I'd really hate that. Three months ago, if the weather was decent, she would spend all her time in her room instead of going out with Husband and the boys. She spent a good deal of time looking out the window & crying that it wasn't fair that the boys got to ride the four wheeler & she didn't. Now she's the first one dressed & out the door.

Last night I decided I'd had enough of washing the same 3 pairs of underpants because she would only wear "the white ones." The white ones came in packages with printed underpants that were otherwise identical. This has been going of for more than a month, and although a vast improvement on refusing to wear them all together, it still gets a bit wearing.

At one point there was only one pair of the white ones she'd wear. A few weeks ago I started switching out the underpants (unbeknownst to my daughter). Middle of last week I finally told her what was going on. At first she didn't believe me, but eventually she accepted it as fact.

Bed time last night found her in a rather good mood, so I told her we were going to do an experiment. I blindfolded her (which she LOVED) and tried every pair of underpants she owns on her. If she liked them, I put them on her bed. If she didn't I put them on her bed. When we got through the entire pile, there were only 2 on the floor, so I tried them on her a second time. The second time they passed the test.

When I took the blindfold off her face she was thrilled to see the pile on her bed. "I liked all those, Mom?! That's ALL MY UNDERPANTS! They all feel good now!!" She ran out in the living room & told her dad & showed him the underpants she'd picked out to wear to school today.

This morning she even wore a pair of Capri jeans & a t-shirt that hasn't seen the light of day in months.

And bedtime drama is down by about 8,000 % since we introduced the weighted blanket. She's been sleeping under it all night & I really think it's feeding her nervous system as much if not more than the brushing. We've cut back on the brushing quite a bit, but I think I'm going to start setting the timer & doing it every 2 hours again.

I do wonder if this is something she'll grow out of since her SPD is fairly mild by comparison & treatment is working so very well for her. It would be wonderful if this ended up being something we could look back on and say, "Hey, do you remember when BabyGirl was a nudist?"

Night two

She got up about 3 minutes after I tucked her in tonight & told me she couldn't fall asleep. To which I replied, "You should probably try laying still for more than 3minutes." Since she caught me nursing Bitsy, she got to wait around for about 20 minutes & play with her brothers' toy cars. When I tucked her in the second time, she stayed there. No fighting. No crying. Night two. PTL!!

There was a minor meltdown this afternoon over the computer. I was talking to the Queen Mother on the phone & BabyGirl & #1 Son started fighting over the computer. I set the timer giving him 5 more minutes before he had to relinquish it to his sister. I left the room & blows were exchanged. I promptly turned off the computer & told them it was done for the night. #1 Son ran off crying. BabyGirl screamed at me. "Idiot!" This is her favorite thing to call people. It does not go over well. Not even a little bit.

I took her to her room & she had a come apart. Last week I was talking to Inkling on the phone when BabyGirl screamed at me about something. She screamed once, then went on about her business. I told Inkling that a month ago that would have been a full 20 minute melt down. I was so thankful for just that scream.

Sometimes I worry that people think we are too lenient with her. I really need to stop worrying about things like that. No one else lives with her. No one else knows what kind of battles are really worth fighting on a daily basis. Sometimes I do not choose my battles wisely. I'm trying to remedy that.

Just my thoughts tonight.

A weight has been added...but this time it's a good thing.

At our first OT appointment, Miss Emily suggested we get a weighted blanket for BabyGirl. Bedtime was fairly involved at the time, but she would still stay in bed & go to sleep. I borrowed a quilt from Busha that my great-grandmother made. It was pretty heavy (and exactly what Miss Emily suggested), but BabyGirl hated it. She refused to sleep with it saying it was too hot. She wanted no part of any blanket that was heavy.

Since then things have disintegrated at bed time. She goes to bed well about one night a week. The rest of the time she cries and fights and complains that her bed "itches." For a while she'd go to sleep in our bed, then I'd move her when I went to sleep. She's getting bigger, so that's not as easy a task as it once was.

Two nights ago the fight lasted nearly an hour. She wanted me to take the mattress pad off my bed because it was "too soft." My mattress pad encases the entire mattress. You have to pick the mattress up and put it inside the pad & zip the pad up. Not a one man job. Not by a long shot. I spent 20 minutes explaining this to her. She refused to listen & kept yelling if I cared about her at all, I'd take it off. (Another new developement. Followed by, "Ever since I started itching I was trying to figure out if you really love me. Now I know you don't." Oy.)

Eventually I turned off the TV and all the lights, sat in my recliner & rocked Bitsy until they both gave up & went to sleep. BabyGirl spent the first 10 minutes of this endeavor telling me that if I didn't turn on the lights she was never going to sleep & she'd never let me sleep either. This approach does not work on so many levels!

When I made her fidgets bowl last week, she discovered she loves the weight of the beans on her hands. I asked her then if she wanted a "bean blanket" and she said yes. I've been trying to work out how to make one all week because I don't want to spend $89-$150 on something just to find out she won't use it.

Yesterday I let her pick out an old softly worn sheet from the linen cabinet (secretly afraid she'd pick my favorite Wamsuttas from when I was little). Luckily it had a printed grid on it, so that cut my work in half.

I cut the twin sized sheet down and sewed it together to make a giant pocket. Then I sewed channels in it & started filling them with dried pinto beans. After each scoop of beans, I'd sew across the length of the blanket making pockets to keep the beans from shifting too much.

In the end we have a bean quilt. I ran out of beans just over half way through, but it's big enough to cover most of her body if she lays on her side with her legs bent (that's how she falls asleep anyway, so it's not a huge issue).

The next time I go to town, I'll pick up another 5 lbs of beans & finish it off. But until then, it seems to be working. She went to bed with no problems & never once complained that the sheets "itched." I'm not hanging my hope on this blanket with only good night, but I am hoping for the best.

Now, this might seem a bit odd to some of you, but I really feel I need to share. This is a huge step of faith for me...I'd normally keep something like this to myself. After I finished the blanket (or at least as much as I could), I anointed it with oil & prayed over it. Please don't think I'm a lunatic. I do not believe the blanket now has special spiritual powers. This is also not something I do a lot. But I do believe the Lord can use it to bless my daughter, and I also believe He led me to do this. My prayer was mostly a blessing for BabyGirl, but this is the way I felt the blessing should be imparted on her.

I went in her room & took the blanket off her before I turned in for the night (actually I took it & laid it across my lap for about 15 minutes...after I used one of her old brushes on myself. Miss Emily suggested I try some of the techniques to help with my issues). At 2:30 this morning she came in & woke me up wanting the blanket back on. Then this morning when I brushed her (I usually brush her to wake her up, then let her rest in bed until her breakfast is ready) and she wanted it back on again.

I pray this continues to comfort her and give her the peace & calming she needs to sleep each night.

OT Tuesday II

Today at therapy BabyGirl got to swing sitting in her bottom, her knees, laying on her belly, & standing like on a surf board. Then they bounced on the therapy ball, played with putty, and dug in buckets of beans, dried peas, and rice for fidgets.

As our session was winding down, Emily said BabyGirl is doing so well, and we have all the tools we need to keep her diet rich in sensory experiences, so there's really no need to keep going back for therapy. Emily said if we keep everything up at home, we can just see her periodically unless something comes up.

So as things stand now, we won't be going back until August just before school starts.

It really is amazing the changes we've seen in the month an a half we've been working with Emily. I'd never in a million years believed BabyGirl would be wearing new jeans & happily dressing for school each morning just because of some bouncing & brushing.

Thank the Lord!!