Essays by BabyGirl herself.

Essay #1. If I had 100 Dollars, I would.... I would byu a TV and a neckless and I would byu a brasless (that's bracelet) and I would get my ears perst.


Essay #2. I Have A Dream. My dream for our world would be everyone would have a house and have stuf that they have everything the need because they could die. They can get sick or they can get hurt.


Essay #3. I wish no one would litter. I want the world to be safest. It will be the hardest job. I hope the pariry (prairie) will get bigger. I want the cleanest water. I want the biggest pool of water and....


Mrs. S says she's smart. Very smart. But she's also very worried about her attention issues. She just cannot seem to focus & get her work done in time. She's so easily distracted by any thing going on around her. But I know she also uses the excuse "the other kids are distracting me" to make up for just gazing off in to space frequently.

She's learning what she needs to learn, she's just not finishing her work. I'm at a loss as to what to do.

In much better news, she's doing great with her clothing. She's even willingly worn layers & socks to play out in the snow (a major battle last year). Her wardrobe is expanding by her own choice. In fact, I don't remember the last time she wore the stand by khakis to school. And bed sheets have ceased to be an issue at all. She even sleeps under a blanket & a comforter now, something she would never have tollerated last winter.

Her Uncle Bubba is getting married in September. He & Aunt Bec have asked her to be the flower girl. She's over the moon about the prospect. When Bec first asked, I was a bit nervous thinking BabyGirl might never agree to wear the dress picked out for her. But with the improvements she's made lately, I'm not nearly as concerned. Shoes may still be an issue, but I'm trying to plan ahead. I want to get her some white patent leather flip-flops for church this year. If I can find them, I'll tuck away an extra pair to keep nice & clean for the wedding.

Looking down from the mountain top

Our life seems to move in peaks & valleys. The last post, written about 5 weeks ago, was at the bottom of a rather deep valley. At the moment we seem to be reaching a summit of sorts.

In the past 2 weeks or so, BabyGirl has begun digging out clothing I worried would never see the light of day. Perfectly good clothes that lingered at the bottom of her drawers or the back of her closet never to be worn.

Last week she began wearing clothing she's never had one for more than 30 seconds at a time. Most weeks I wash laundry two or three times during the week to be sure she has pants she'll willingly wear. Last week she wore a different outfit everyday. She wore pants I've tried to get her to wear a hundred times before. She did it all on her own. She would come out of her room randomly wearing something she'd dug out & put together on her own.

Last night she let me fix her hair complete with hair clips, something she's never tolerated in the past. She even asked if we could start fixing her hair for school in the mornings! I'm not holding my breath, but it sure feels good to see such improvement.

At the same time, there may be a new valley approaching. B.B., BabyGirl's four year old little brother, has begun complaining of his clothing. He melts down quickly when he doesn't like something he has on. So far, a quick & firm call back to the here & now stops him in his tracks, but I fear he's heading down a path similar to his sister's. I'm praying it's not the case & watching him carefully, but I'm also thankful to know what to watch for.

It's Happend

My BabyGirl is seven. She's only 3 years away from double digits. She's only 6 years from her teen years. I'm only moments away from the fetal position.

Didn't we just bring her home from the hospital? Isn't she still packing around her sippy cup? Blue's Clues is her favorite show, isn't it? What? Hannah Montana? No. She can read? When did that happen? Wait, she wears clothes now? Oh, only when there's company, right? All the time?! How did I miss this?

Ah me.

To celebrate her birthday yesterday, we went to the doctor! She has her first case of poison ivy. Yippee. I'm not sure, but I think I'm immune to it (at least at the moment...I know that can change at anytime). I thought the kids were too as they spend all their time outside & we live at the edge of a woods. No one's ever had poison ivy before....maybe we've just been exceptionally lucky (or their guardian angels work overtime).

She doesn't have it particularly bad, but Doc put her on an oral steroid & a topical steroid just in case. Her grandmother (MIL) gets it horribly as does Grandma M&M (my grandmother). He didn't want to risk it especially with the weekend coming. She's not thrilled with the prednisone, but she's taking it. The Skittles I'm bribing her with help!

But she did stay dressed all day yesterday! I was worried that the itching from the poison ivy would send her back to her "nekked" ways. But no....she not only wore clothes, but kept on her shirt & shorts until bath time last night. Normally she'd strip down & put on a giant t-shirt at the first opportunity. I just hope she can keep this up. I don't want a fight. I'm tired of fighting. But more than that, I'm tired of her being naked all the time.

One more thing. In the past few weeks, she started clicking her tongue all the time. It's irritating as all get out. She's also started doing strange things with her spit....blowing bubbles & sucking it through her teeth....constantly. Since most bodily fluids make me sick at my stomach (spit being one of the worst offenders), this is not a good thing. I tell her no less than 10 times a day to "quit clicking!" It's like living with that guy from The God's Must Be Crazy crossed with a redneck dipping Skoal. So gross!

I'm pretty sure this is a sensory thing. I need to post on my message board about it & see if anyone has any advice. I've been pushing chewing gum & drinking straws to help curb it. Maybe we need to get her a teething toy...sounds strange, but if she has an oral need that needs to be met, I'd rather that than all this clicking & slurping....I shutter just typing it!

Laxing off a bit

Samantha asked (so very long ago) if I was sticking to BabyGirl's sensory diet of if we were relaxing with it.

To be honest, I've slacked off quite a bit in my enforcement of it. BabyGirl does many of the stuff on her own because she enjoys it, but I don't push her quiet like I did in the beginning.

I think the sensory diet was a life saver for us. I cannot imagine still dealing with the daily battles we had back in January. Since starting the sensory diet BabyGirl's clothing issues have decreased drastically. She will wear a greater variety of clothing now than she has since the beginning of Kindergarten. Where we were limited to 2 pairs of pants & 2 shirt for a while, she now wears at least 4 pairs of pants, most of her shirts, and with the weather warming up she's back in her dresses & skirts.

Since we tried the blindfold experiment, she's picked out a new kind of favorite panties. She still limits herself to one particular brand & style, but I think most people do that. I'm OK with that since I can get more of them. It was the single pair of underpants I had a major issue with. In fact, Friday I bought her another pack of the kind she now prefers so she has 6 pairs to choose from. That seems like such a luxury to me! (Granted there are probably 15 pairs in her drawer she doesn't want to wear, but at least 10 of them are old enough to need to be replaced anyway.)

I think the weighted blanket has helped her the most. Since she started sleeping with it she's been calmer & much more tolerant of texture. We rarely brush anymore & the joint compression is an occasional thing (once a day, maybe).

Now our biggest issue is the learned behaviors SPD has caused. For a long time sheets itched so she would throw a fit at bed time. Now the sheets don't bother her, but she still doesn't go to bed easily.

I'm trying to learn what battles are worth fighting. There's a fine line with her between a sensory problem & a behavioral problem. What can start off as behavioral can quickly become sensory. If she refuses to go to bed & an argument ensues, that can quickly escalate into "itching" and a melt-down over bedding. So picking my battles is far from easy.

I'm glad summer is coming because simply being outdoors is a great feast for her senses. The more she does on her own (swinging, sliding, bike riding, running, playing, bouncing), the less I have to remind her to do. I think that may also explain why summertime was always easier for her. In the winter she becomes too sedentary & that contributes to her issues.

So, for the moment, most of her Sensory Diet is in her hands, but I know it's worked for us!

OT Tuesday II

Today at therapy BabyGirl got to swing sitting in her bottom, her knees, laying on her belly, & standing like on a surf board. Then they bounced on the therapy ball, played with putty, and dug in buckets of beans, dried peas, and rice for fidgets.

As our session was winding down, Emily said BabyGirl is doing so well, and we have all the tools we need to keep her diet rich in sensory experiences, so there's really no need to keep going back for therapy. Emily said if we keep everything up at home, we can just see her periodically unless something comes up.

So as things stand now, we won't be going back until August just before school starts.

It really is amazing the changes we've seen in the month an a half we've been working with Emily. I'd never in a million years believed BabyGirl would be wearing new jeans & happily dressing for school each morning just because of some bouncing & brushing.

Thank the Lord!!

To sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream

Good bed time tonight!! I tucked her in, laid with her for a few minutes, then left...and she did not follow crying about her sheets, complaining that she cannot possibly sleep, begging me to come back to bed. Such sweet silence.

And for those of you who don't know, BabyGirl got her specs on Friday. She's cute as a bug in a rug in them. "The kids all said I look just like a teacher." Precious.

Now if only Bitsy would sleep......

Baby Steps

First of all, do you see that? That is my daughter Sunday morning wearing clothes in the house while watching TV. She even has her hair pulled up (a big no-no very recently). She just came out of her room fully dressed, wearing jewelry, asking for a ponytail!!

How this child doesn't fall off the bed in her sleep is beyond me. The picture is from one of the many nights she refused to sleep in her own bed. The issue comes and goes now. Most nights she starts going to bed around 8 o'clock & finally accomplishes the task around 9 o'clock. Then she'll lay in bed & sing until she falls asleep. I'm trying to be less rigid about it. Even if she doesn't give up & fall asleep until 10 o'clock, that's still 9 hours of sleep. I'd rather she get more, but it's not like she's really sleep deprived.

I'm still mulling over the GF/CF diet. One of the mothers on the SPD message board said she found it kind of funny that I consider this a huge step. I thought cutting two of the major food groups out of my child's diet is pretty major. She meant because they've been doing it do long it's second nature.

Today is picture day at school. BabyGirl picked out a red plaid skort & long sleeve turtle neck top that had belonged to Art's Syd. I've always loved the outfit, but BabyGirl's never worn it more than 10 minutes at a time & never out of the house. She even put on knee socks. She hasn't willingly worn a pair of socks in months. Today she was thrilled to put it all on...until it came time to put on her shoes.

She wanted to wear an old pair of black Mary Janes that are a 9 1/2. She's been wearing a pair of size 11 loafers for the past 4 months or so. She really needs about a 10 1/2. When the Mary Janes were too tight she wanted to change her entire outfit. It was time to go out the door, so I wouldn't let her change. The waterworks began & I felt bad sending her to school crying, but if we'd have gone back in her room to change it would have taken a good 20 minutes & ended in a total meltdown.

Husband said she took off the socks once she got to school, but it wasn't the normal screaming strip-down in the truck on the way.

Oh, and the jeans I bought that she hated...she tried them on again Sunday & decided they're OK. They've been washed & are waiting in the drawer for her to wear them out. Keep your fingers crossed.

Baby steps.

Worry not about tomorrow....

As usual I was worried about nothing. BabyGirl not only got up & got dressed in the dreaded red shirt willingly (thanks to a few sprays of Bath & Body Works Clean Cotton Body Spray), but she came home & begged me to wash the shirt tonight so she can wear it again tomorrow!

When she came home from school yesterday, the first thing she did was apologize to me for her melt-down that morning. An absolute first for her. She's apologized if we discussed it later, but this was totally unprovoked. Later I let her decorate her lunch sack with markers, sparkly glue, and stamps to take on the field trip today. After that she was very excited about going.

Sometimes her Dr.Jekyll & Mr.Hyde act makes me dizzy. I used to repeat the nursery rhyme to her:
There once was a girl who had a curl,
Right down the middle of her forehead.
When she was good she was very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

I wonder if the girl with the curl had SPD.

One Week Down...hundreds of thousands more to go

I am utterly amazed. BabyGirl has gotten dressed & left for school happily every morning this week. We are nearly a full week from the last major melt-down. I'm a tad suspicious.

I will gladly confess that I have washed the same pair of underpants for her to wear to school every day this week. I have a new blessing for the underpants:

May God bless & keep the underpants in one piece until she decides it's OK to try on a different pair.

A few weeks ago BabyGirl spied a Hannah Montana doll at Wal-Mart. Not willing to shell out $16 randomly, I told her she could earn it. She's been filling out a chart fifty cents at a time ever since (for good behavior & chores completed). She's still about 3 dollars away from her actual goal, but this week has gone so well, I went ahead & picked one up for her today. I can't wait to see her face when she gets home.

She said her next goal will be to earn a Hannah Montana wig...why my blond daughter needs a blond wig is beyond me, but if she's working towards a goal, we're all much happier.

Oh, and she wore a shirt today that was not one of the 3 she willingly wears on a regular basis. February is reading month at school. Today was their Book-a-roo party for everyone that met the reading goals. They were all supposed to dress as cowboys/girls. Art gave us an adorable western style shirt that had belonged to Syd and BabyGirl has never worn. She wore it today along with her one pair of jeans & my cowboy hat. She even let me braid her hair (a rarity as she doesn't like the ends of ponytails to touch her neck or back).

I picked up a new pair of jeans for her today. They are soft and look nicely worn (although they're new). I only hope she likes them. The one pair she has that she'll wear, are a full size too small & I'm pretty sure she's flashed her butt crack at every member of the student body at this point. Please, Lord, let her wear this pair of pants!

We have a diagnosis!

Miss Emily's OT Evaluation came in the mail today!! Not that anything she says in her report is a great surprise to me, but it's nice to have it in black & white that BabyGirl does indeed have SPD.

"BabyGirl is a 6 year old girl with obvious tactile hypersensitivity....it appears that she has definite touch processing difficulties as well as behavioural outcomes of the processing. Her inability to tolerate textures and light touch impact her emotional responses as well as her ability to typically function in her environment."

Tomorrow I will take copies of the evaluation to school for Miss Dena so she can begin documenting & treating BabyGirl at school.

It may seem odd, but having an official diagnosis helps me. Now I don't feel like I have to qualify when I'm explaining to someone what's going on. I can simply state, "She suffers from a textile hypersensitivity sensory processing disorder." I wonder, can I get it printed on a shirt (for me of course, she'd never wear it)?

Day 2 & Like Mother Like Daughter

Day two: dressed & out the door with no fighting!! I should admit that I've made sure the one pair of underpants she'll wear are clean every morning, but that's a small price to pay for peace.

Last week I was going through the check list for BabyGirl's OT to include in her eval report. As I marked the issues BabyGirl has & the degree to which certain issues affect her, I began seeing myself in many of the answers. (This isn't the same as the check list I used, but it is similar if you're interested: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html)

I cannot abide being touched lightly & unexpectedly. I can't tell you how many times one of the kids has brushed the back of my leg while I was washing dishes only to have me scream & nearly kick them. I am very ticklish & attributed my aversion to light touches to that, but now I'm wondering if there isn't more to it. Being very ticklish can be a symptom of SPD as well. I get dizzy easily (I can ride roller coasters all day long with no motion sickness, but put me on a Tilt-a-Whirl & you may want to duck. It will not be pretty), I can't even watch the kids ride on the merry-go-round at the mall with out getting queasy. I'm generally clumsy. I cannot bear to shake hands with anyone who doesn't have a firm grasp on my hand. Wrinkles in the bed sheets can drive me crazy (not little, needs to be ironed wrinkles. Big, not tucked in properly wrinkles), and I have to straighten out the blankets with great frequency. As a child I tucked every thing in. QM often said if I could have tucked my dresses into my tights I would have. If the heels of my shoes slipped even a little I didn't want to wear them (and with the horribly narrow heels I have, that meant we made twice yearly trips to St.Louis to have my dress shoes custom made).

While I am in no way belittling what my daughter goes through (I know my issues pale in comparison to having your clothes feel as if they're made of fiberglass), I can see where she gets this. I wonder if SPD is genetic. QM & Busha share some of my issues as well. On the message boards there are many parents with more than one child with SPD.

I only hope none of the other 3 kids suffer like BabyGirl has.

And Now we do the dance of joy!!

Happily dressed her self & left for school this morning. Even put on underpants with no assitance!!! I am one happy mom today.

Thank You, Lord!

Big Fun with Miss Emily!

Today was the big day. We met Miss Emily at the hospital at 9 o'clock this morning. She is a God send. I cannot explain how wonderful it was to meet someone face to face who completely understood what we've been going through.

She came in and asked BabyGirl if she wanted to come play. BabyGirl was thrilled! Miss Emily asked her a ton of questions about everything from her clothes to bright lights to what kind of food she likes. BabyGirl was shockingly open with Miss Emily & was very good at explaining her problems. I was amazed. Normally BabyGirl doesn't want to tell people what's going on with her...not today. She knew this was the time & place & she told Miss Emily everything she needed to. That was a God thing!

They did some work on a therapy ball & then worked with scissors & pencils. All the while Miss Emily was explaining to me what they were doing & why. She asked me a ton of questions about BabyGirl & what we've observed. She sent me home with two questionairs & a small stack of papers about SPD.

We go back on Wednesday for the rest of the Eval. & Miss Emily is going to set up a sensory diet for BabyGirl that we can do at home (a routine of things to help her...therapy at home so to speak). With a good sensory diet at home, and therapy at school (which Miss Emily said she could set up as well), BabyGirl may only have to go to the hospital to see Miss Emily once a month or so.

She said the trampoline that Husband bought was a wonderful thing to have. She also suggested an exercise ball (which I picked up today) for BabyGirl to set on while she does her home work. She told me that many of the things they'd do would seem to have nothing to do with BabyGirl's textile hypersensitivity, but the goal is to make her entire body (nervous system) function as a cohesive unit. Kind of a fix it all to fix the one approach.

I've been working on my homework & anxiously looking forward to Wednesday. Oh, and I called Miss Dena (the school's OT) to see what she needs. All she needs is the OT evaluation from Miss Emily stating BabyGirl does indeed have SPD. Then she will have BabyGirl labled as developmentally delayed (since the schools don't recognize SPD as a condition at this point). That means she can begin to work with her once a week at school. She said if Miss Emily can set up a program for BabyGirl to do at school, that would help her get the equipment she needs. If she sets up the program on her own, she may have to stick to what ever equipment she has on hand.

BabyGirl told her Daddy, "I really like Miss Emily. She's really nice & a lot of fun! We played a lot!" That's the best part of this all. I truly believe Kork was right when she said God sent Miss Emily here for us. I have no doubt.

God bless you, Miss Emily!

The new OT from the local hospital called me today. I can tell you right now, I love Miss Emily.

She called to set up BabyGirl's eval. but seemed a bit confused with the order. "It says here she needs to be evaluated because of hand problems & a possible sensory disorder. Do her sensory problems have to do with her hands?" I said no & began explaining BabyGirl's poblems to her. She completely understood & was so supportive about it. I told her we thought we were loosing our minds. "No, you aren't, honey. She's miserable & you had no idea why. Don't worry. We'll help her."

She listened to me for about 15 minutes & gave some advice. She said she really looks forward to meeting us on Friday. I am thrilled.

We had been 4 full days without a major melt down & I was beginning to think the come aparts had all been in my imagination. BabyGirl assured me today that they were not. She wanted to make coffee filter sun catchers this morning. For some reason she wanted to stand in the corner by #1 Son's chair to color. This caused major drama & she fell apart. She spent 30 minutes screaming in her bedroom floor. She writhed around on the floor screeching that her hair was itching her & clawing at her self. I finally got her calmed down enough to put her in an oatmeal bath. Things have been better since then.

I'm trying to adapt the attitude of giving thanks in all things. So today I am thankful that we're having a snow day & she could stay in her room during the melt down instead of having it in the van on the way to school. That has gotten dangerous lately.

So now I have to be careful that I'm not hanging my hopes on Friday & Miss Emily. She's going to help, but this will not be a quick fix.

Praise God from whom all blessings fall...

My daughter dressed willingly in long sleeves, blue jeans, and underpants for school this morning. Proof positive that there is a God & he listens to prayer.

Forward Momentum

It feels so good to be able to write something postive here. To write that we have finally entered into the beginning of evaluation if not treatment.

The OT came yesterday to talk to BabyGirl at school (I didn't find out until breakfast this morning). The OT came back to see her today. The OT called me. I was happy. The problem is she cannot touch BabyGirl without a diagnostic code. State rules that they are trying to get changed. Even if we get a diagnosis of SPD, she still can't do much as it's not recognized by the mainstream medical community. But she said she could treat her if she can list her as "other health impaired." My concern was, would this lable her & stick her in the Special Ed class? She doesn't need to be in Special Ed & I really don't want her there. I have no issues with Special Education, it's a much needed program, but it's not where BabyGirl needs to be. Miss D assured me that would not happen.

She told me to call our Doctor's office & have them order an outpatient OT evaluation. I called the doctor & left a message for his nurse. We played phone tag for a while. I called the OT's at the hospital to be sure they dealt with kids & SPD. Great news: there's a new OT starting Monday who has worked extensively with pediatric patients. That also means she should be very well versed in SPD. I called the doctor's office back & they're going to fax an order to the hospital to have them evaluate BabyGirl.

I am so relieved. We are getting somewhere. This ball is rolling. Thank the Good Lord Above!